Book Report: Daring Greatly
For awhile now, I’ve been thinking about putting out little book report blogs after each incredible book we’ve read in my bookclub. I’ve never gotten around to it, and make no guarantees that I’ll be able to keep up with it, but I’m going to try.
We just finished reading Daring Greatly, by Brené Brown and it has a LOT about being a parent and the challenges of parenthood. It’s a great book and an easy read, I definitely recommend. But it had me thinking about the lens of being a woman, childfree by choice reading the book.
Brené brilliantly talks about shame and vulnerability and specifically calls out (on page 86) that, “you don’t have to be a mother to experience mother shame. Society views womanhood and motherhood as inextricably bound: therefore our value as women is often determined by where we are in relation to our roles as mothers or potential mothers.”
If you’ve ever found yourself silently screaming “I can’t keep doing this” while still checking all the boxes and showing up like you’ve got your shit together, Daring Greatly will hit you right in the gut.
For women who are childfree by choice, the world already has opinions about you. Add anxiety, high expectations, and the constant performance of success, and you’ve probably spent years building armor so thick you can barely breathe under it. Brené’s whole argument? That armor is what’s killing your joy—and that vulnerability is the real power move.
Why This Book Matters for Anxious, Childfree Women
Brown’s research centers on shame, vulnerability, and courage—three words most high-functioning women avoid like the plague. But for women in their 30s and 40s who opted out of motherhood, there’s a particular flavor of shame you may know too well:
The subtle digs from family about when you’ll “settle down.”
The awkward silences when you say you’re not having kids.
The internal pressure to prove that your life is just as valid, meaningful, or “full” as anyone else’s.
That pressure often leads to over-functioning, perfectionism, and anxiety that masquerades as ambition. Brené calls this “foreboding joy”—when you can’t fully enjoy the life you’ve built because you’re bracing for judgment, disappointment, or some kind of emotional ambush. Sound familiar?
Brown’s biggest gift in Daring Greatly is the way she reframes vulnerability—not as weakness, but as courage. For the anxious, childfree woman, vulnerability might look like:
Admitting you’re exhausted from being the reliable one at work and in your social circles.
Owning the fact that even though you’re proud of your decision not to have kids, you still feel lonely sometimes.
Saying “no” without explaining yourself. Period.
She reminds us that “daring greatly” doesn’t mean grand gestures—it means showing up, unarmored, in the small, ordinary moments of your life.
The work I do with anxious, childfree women overlaps beautifully with what Daring Greatly teaches. Therapy often becomes the space where you can safely practice vulnerability without judgment. Where you can stop holding everything together for everyone else, and finally admit: “I’m tired of this fucking performance.”
Brown’s book can be a powerful companion to therapy. It gives language to the armor you’ve been wearing and permission to start setting it down, piece by piece.
If you’re a childfree, anxious, high-functioning woman who secretly feels like she’s drowning under all her success, Daring Greatly is a mirror you may not want—but desperately need. It will push you to ask: Am I living bravely, or am I just living armored? And which version of my one life do I really want to be living?
And if the answer feels uncomfortable, that’s not failure. That’s the beginning of rebuilding—and growing—into the life you actually want.
