Childfree and Thriving (But Lonely Sometimes): The Honest Truth

You’ve made your choice—no kids, no apologies. And it feels really fucking good.

You love the freedom. The late mornings. The spontaneous trips. The ability to invest fully in your career and yourself.

And damn, you’re thriving.

But here’s the truth nobody tells you: sometimes, it’s lonely as fuck.

The unspoken loneliness

While your friends are knee-deep in diapers, school runs, and PTA drama, you’re navigating a world that still sees your choice as weird, selfish, or just incomplete.

You might:

• Hear the endless “But what about when you change your mind?”

• Feel left out of the “parent club” events and conversations

• Experience moments where you wonder if you’re the only one who doesn’t quite fit

You’re not alone in this—more & more women are choosing this path than ever before, but society hasn’t quite caught up. When you’re in your 30’s or 40’s the question, “do you have kids?” is more common than, “what do you do for work?”- an immediate reminder that there’s a club that you’re not a part of.

How to hold both the joy and the ache

It’s okay to love your life and also feel a little untethered sometimes.

Here’s how to navigate it:

1. Find your tribe: Seek out other childfree women or communities that celebrate your choices. Online groups, local meetups, or creative circles can feel like home.

2. Redefine legacy: Your impact isn’t limited to parenting. Think about the relationships you nurture, the work you do, and the values you leave behind.

3. Allow your feelings: There’s no need to pretend you’re 100% okay all the time. Grief, joy, freedom—they can all coexist.

Reflective questions

• What does community look like for me beyond traditional family?

• How can I honor my feelings without judgment?

• What values do I want to grow and nurture in my life?

You’re sovereign. Your path is yours alone—and that’s a fucking beautiful thing.

I support women in rebuilding a sense of belonging that fits who you truly are.

Ready to reclaim your space?

why all the F-bombs?

After a recent website re-vamp, you might have noticed that there are a couple F-bombs circulating around. For awhile, I used to censor myself (once editing out a rogue FUCK from a past blog post). Over the years of being a therapist (now, well over a decade), I would often work especially hard to not say certain words in sessions, fuck very often being one of them. I don’t swear more than your average New Yorker, but I do swear. And I’m done hiding it. How can I help you be authentically you, and not fully embrace my own goddamn self?! I can’t.

I also cannot count on my fingers & toes the number of times I’ve heard from people about previous bad therapy experiences they had- where they felt judged for swearing, and one person said the therapist even asked they did not swear in session. I was and am so appalled by this. And want you to know, I will not be that therapist.

I have worked with people who will quickly apologize after swearing, or ask permission to say a bad word in session. Again, 100% not necessary. There will be plenty of other things you need to give yourself permission for, that will likely come up in sessions (hint hint: taking care of yourself and your needs and making this a priority in your life), but swearing will never be one of them.

So, this week I got my new office toy- the photo cover here. And I fucking love it!